My Extra Ordinary Life By Rebecca Ryan EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Authors: Rebecca Ryan
- Publish Date: 5 January 2023
- Language: English
- Genre: Woman Sleuth
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 1 MB
- Pages: 448 pages
- Price: Free
Apparently, wondering when and how you’ll die is an integral part of the human
condition. Unless you’re me, that is. I already know I’ve got exactly fifty-four
years left to live.
It’ll most likely be heart disease that sees me off in the end. And if the sheer
averageness of my existence is to be believed, I’ll be kicking the bucket in a
hospital. Seeing out my last mortal moments down some random corridor in
Huddersfield General.
‘And that’s it. Death. The only certainty in this, The Human Life.’
The not-quite-David-Attenborough presenter delivers his final line as the
credits roll on the BBC2 programme. I feel like I’ve been punched. Not that I’ve
ever been punched, mind, I’m not that sort of a girl. (Woman. God, that makes
me sound old.) So, I imagine that’s what it would feel like. Being hit in the face.
I’m wobbly. Disorientated. I clutch the edge of the couch for support, except it
was so cheap it offers little resistance and I sink to the floor.
It was a documentary. One that made out that human habits are just as
interesting as animals’, when really no one knows or cares that the average
human blinks 28,800 times a day. (Note to self, must blink less.)
All in all, the programme was pretty dull. What’s left me stricken on the rug
in the front room is the stuff Mr not-quite-David-Attenborough said. ‘The
average human this…’ and ‘the average human that…’, and every single average
life event he mentioned seemed to apply to my own mediocre existence. For
goodness’ sake, both my names were in the top five most common names. Emily
Turner. Dull as dishwater.
I’m off the floor now, relieved Kaz isn’t here to bear witness to my demented
pacing.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I’ve ever considered myself destined for
greatness. I’m an ordinary person with ordinary thoughts living an ordinary life.
I was never going to be the person to develop a cure for cancer or anything
impressive like that. But no one wants their one meaningless life to be entirely
average, do they?
It’s Mum’s fault that I even know so much about the ins and outs of my own
existence. Surely people generally forget some of the stuff from the first ten or so
years? No such luck for me. Mum’s a compulsive recorder. Every moment of my
life has been meticulously documented. I used to think it was weird. But now,
you know, I’m thinking at least she’s got a quirk. I don’t have a quirk.
Anyway, there’s a whole wall of photo albums in the dining room of Mum
and Dad’s semi, each one diligently labelled.
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