The Summer War by Alex A. King EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Author: Alex A. King
- Language: English
- Formats: PDF / EPUB
- Status: Available For Free Download
- Series: None
- Price: Free
- File Size: 2 MB
They—the world’s great meme philosophers—claim hate is a cancer, but
they’re wrong. Hate is a natural preservative that keeps members of my
family alive long after their peers have choked down one last souvlaki and
rolled into their waiting graves.
Exhibit A: My great-grandmother. Currently she’s standing (hunched,
frail, liver-spotted) on ninety-five’s doorstep. Scrawny arms and legs
outstretched, she’s performing a spectacular starfish so that Hades and
Thanatos can’t team up to haul her skinny backside to the underworld. She
refuses to buy a ticket to the big taverna in the sky until the matriarch of the
Roussos family admits that the entire Roussos bloodline is a pack of dirty
rotten thieves and croaks.
Generally speaking, I’m not one of life’s haters. I like people. I love kids
and babies. When it comes to cats and dogs … gimme. Star Wars or Star
Trek? Yes, please.
One lone exception stands out. Thanos Roussos. My white-hot contempt
for that reprehensible man will give me eternal life.
At least that’s the plan.
Ana, you’re probably thinking, do you realize you sound like a refugee
from a Greek sitcom with all that drama?
I do. But that is precisely why I came prepared with these posters and a
bucket of color-coded stickers. So you would understand.
See this? It’s a list. A sample of the perfectly reasonable reasons why I,
Ana Merrick, detest Thanos Roussos and would gleefully shove him into a
rocket ship and fire him into the sun.
All I need is the opportunity.
Billionaires, are you listening?
Okay, so I used glitter pens to color-code everything. Makes for easypeasy reading. You can take a teacher out of the classroom but you can’t take
the classroom out of the teacher. I have the student debt and at least two
dozen Best Teacher Ever mugs to prove it.
Before we get started, please note that I hated Thanos long before the
Marvel movies were a thing. The movie villain evaporated half of the
universe’s population and he’s still not worse than Thanos Roussos.
Onward!
The summer we were both five-years-old, Thanos melted the 120-pack of
Crayola crayons that my parents bought me for our annual trip to Greece.
Thanos said he wanted to make a mega-candle, but all he made was a mess.
For the rest of the summer, I had to color with … Oh, wait! I couldn’t color
at all. My grandmother gave me a pencil and told me to use my imagination.
I was five. I could imagine a horse with five heads, but struggled with faking
yellow.
At seven, there was nothing more beloved to me than my favorite
American Girl doll, Molly. Leaving her in Oregon was unthinkable, so she
came to Nera with us for the summer. One week into July, Thanos kidnapped
Molly and sent a series of misspelled ransom notes with two options: kiss his
butt or he would shave Molly’s head with his papou’s razor. The American
Girl Doll Hospital fixed Molly’s hair, but she was never the same after that.
I’d swear all they did was swap her head for a new one. She wasn’t my Molly
anymore, after her trip to the hospital.
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